Luposlipophobia

After that first practice, and after thinking about roller derby nonstop all week, I returned the following Saturday to the hangar.  I was bound and determined to catch the nuances of all of the drills, making sure not to blatantly violate any rules.  I was still slightly mortified about the panty incident. (In my head as I walked in: "Here comes that girl who thought she could steal the panty.") Once I got out there on the track, I felt great--well, with the exception of one problem: the wheels on my skates are not designed for derby tracks; they are made for the standard wood floor of typical roller rinks.  Why is that a problem?  My wheels don't grip the floor-----at all.  They slide instead.  The sensation of sliding reminded me of a Far Side cartoon that describes Luposlipophobia: the fear of being chased by timberwolves around a kitchen table whilst wearing socks on a newly-polished floor.  Just make those socks roller skates and you can picture how that doesn't work so well.  I remedied the problem today when I revisited the Oaks Park pro shop and scored me some fancy new wheels which are designed especially for derby tracks.  Goodbye timberwolves.